It's funny and fucking yet so fucking retarded that so many decisions that we make in our daily lives rely on our desire for human interaction. Come Thursday and I'll practically be alone in a 4 room apartment and of all the weeks, it is the week when I once again decide to pms. The weather is being a depressive bipolar bitch and that isn't helping. Although, this current state is me purring out my crazy emotional instability that I have buried somewhere very very very deep until better times, and by better times I meant free time and by free time I meant holiday and by holiday I meant now. I decided that self control is too boring and thus here come the tears. That's not what I wanted to replace self control with though- it was the irrational happiness. I guess that the sort of irrational happiness that I was talking about goes hand-in-hand with my busyness and all that jazz.
It just pisses me off that, that freakin' irrational happiness implies a second party and is often called infatuation. Jee, I think I might be hurt? no, not really disappointed maybe, for no reason at all but who knows.
sometimes I wonder if I have those proper "feelings", I guess I'll find out at some point, whenever I have use for them. For now, I want to run and move and live and do yoga and read and read and read and have new experiences- exciting and thrilling! the only way to live is with courage. wake up early for all of that- today is the best day of my life!
It just pisses me off that, that freakin' irrational happiness implies a second party and is often called infatuation. Jee, I think I might be hurt? no, not really disappointed maybe, for no reason at all but who knows.
sometimes I wonder if I have those proper "feelings", I guess I'll find out at some point, whenever I have use for them. For now, I want to run and move and live and do yoga and read and read and read and have new experiences- exciting and thrilling! the only way to live is with courage. wake up early for all of that- today is the best day of my life!
