Prelude
A while ago, I started questioning everyone around me. Reality was shattering and slipping away, I felt disappointed by all of my family members and was convinced that all of my friends either had ulterior motives, or were somewhat simple-minded and could not be trusted- I couldn't let people get close to me, so I didn't understand why anyone would ever want to let someone like me close. There of course were people and relationships, that I've mentioned here before, with whom there was a certain level of complete honestly and no bullshit could be taken personally, like there has always been a silent agreement of complete understanding. Nonetheless, my inability to have anyone in my life and complete disinterest in people made those relationships hard and our meetings became strained. When this started, I felt very uneasy and, unable to understand what was going on and why I, all of a sudden, could not enjoy seeing someone dear to me, I expressed my feelings here in hopes of finding my way back to my "family".
...
About a year ago I started reconnecting with reality and the beautiful rays of sunshine, whom I call friends and family. But a very short while ago I had an exceptionally nice weekend, with a special visit from one of my elfish friends- the ones with the unspoken eternal agreement of understanding. It was that weekend that the biggest bullshit strain had fallen and I felt somewhere close to my actual age without any disillusions of my 25 unborn children that I have to take care of. Thank you to all of my sunshines for putting up with my crap. Ohana means family and I have finally found my way back to mine.
A while ago, I started questioning everyone around me. Reality was shattering and slipping away, I felt disappointed by all of my family members and was convinced that all of my friends either had ulterior motives, or were somewhat simple-minded and could not be trusted- I couldn't let people get close to me, so I didn't understand why anyone would ever want to let someone like me close. There of course were people and relationships, that I've mentioned here before, with whom there was a certain level of complete honestly and no bullshit could be taken personally, like there has always been a silent agreement of complete understanding. Nonetheless, my inability to have anyone in my life and complete disinterest in people made those relationships hard and our meetings became strained. When this started, I felt very uneasy and, unable to understand what was going on and why I, all of a sudden, could not enjoy seeing someone dear to me, I expressed my feelings here in hopes of finding my way back to my "family".
...
About a year ago I started reconnecting with reality and the beautiful rays of sunshine, whom I call friends and family. But a very short while ago I had an exceptionally nice weekend, with a special visit from one of my elfish friends- the ones with the unspoken eternal agreement of understanding. It was that weekend that the biggest bullshit strain had fallen and I felt somewhere close to my actual age without any disillusions of my 25 unborn children that I have to take care of. Thank you to all of my sunshines for putting up with my crap. Ohana means family and I have finally found my way back to mine.
