Мое тело явно не годует- все болит, слишком сухая кожа. Я чувствую себя 5-центнеровой глыбой. Скоро у меня будет время заняться собой- но воррис, ещё пара дней :)

Решения, которые мы принимаем формируют нас. все строиться на решениях, события развиваются, истории продолжаются или наоборот- подходят к концу. решение двигаться дальше или "позвонить в звонок" морских котиков военного флота США. ещё, решения нельзя изменить- новые решения лишь строются на прежних и что? да ничего. нужно учиться быть менее импульсивной.

How growing up is unnecessary and totally over rated.

Somehow somewhere somewhat somewhy, maturity seems to be very persistant in catching up with me nowadays. And seriously, man, what the ducking fuck? I did not intend to spend the summer in the beautiful land of unicorns being responsible and serious. No, I came here with the desire for relentless crazy decisions and adventure. What I do instead? Work 12 hours a day (well, that was more of an impulsive crazy adventurous idea, but not the kind an irrational teenager would do- what I would want to do). I want fuuuuuun, I want to be crazy and free spirited. At least that's one of the funnest aspects of visiting another country- being insane, cause the is no limit! Now, I have balls, money, experience and loads of new aquantences. But crazy fuuuun, where areee you? I feel like I'm getting old and mature and the next time I come here I'll see weddings and families and god knows.. kids and what will it be? Me and my friends' kinds having the time of our lives in sand pits? Really, I'd definately enjoy that though- why so damn serious?

Emotional unavailability, people and life choices

The after hours:
And once there is nothing. That retarded moment when there is nothing, nothing in me and that makes me pissed, I want some sort of feeling, life. I also can't help but think that I am now undergoing the consequence of my impulse rash decisions. It's all too pointless, too slow pace, but mostly pointless.

Fiction #2

and so it does continue, almost a year later. And, joder, what a year it was! Oooojj, craaaa-zy shit;) the amplitudes of sucky and awesome has increased ten fold, I learned an incredible amount and once again, of course, am not the same me. Embarking on my new adventure is a bit weird: I am enjoying life and having loads of fun, for the first time in 11 years I have something exciting to come back to- so why not let myself come back to it? I guess I'm just a bit afraid of being lonely, of needing to put in that effort again to figure out the people, the what of Poli I should show, cause all of Poli is not an easy thing to comprehend for those who are not used to Polies. Isn't that the exciting part though? The unknown, the unexpected, the unpredictable and the unbounded? Hello, adventure!
--> 1.5 hours later
Funny, I just realised that after 3.5 hours of flying from st. Petersburg, I am beginning to forget my prior attitude, I suppose it's because I've been alone with it for too long.