Just checked my shoes for signs of shit for about the 5th time, I don't know if the sewage system has exploded somewhere near the inside of the ubahn station, or if someone couldn't hold it in about every corner, but the ever present smell pretty much sums up tonight. Visiting old acquaintances can be weird. Especially if they've apparently never expected it and here we are with all of my efforts to ably the social code of showing up when you said you would and supporting people, who's cause you clearly specified you believe in. They're nice, people are there, some are pleasantly surprised to see you but here it is, that ever present all indulging smell.

Giving social norms a try, you play by the rules- be nice, express as little of your dominantly awkward side as possible. You get along in an almost not painfully awkward small talk, after each admitting your lack of commitment to the convention. It has almost been an "interesting, alternative" type of night, but something is off...you check everywhere, the source of the smell is nowhere to be found.

The pressing atmosphere may have been caused by the distant hosts, whom you really have nothing in common with, or the suffocation of antique 4th hand purchases... Giving every remotely interesting conversation a harsh serious edge of childhood dramas and nonexistent social issues.

Glad to be on my way home, only regret is that I didn't get here sooner, but I guess there'll be a point to this later. All the best to tying lose ends!