Discipline-perfection?

Patience comes with disciple. I feel like I'm a blob of emotions, colours, energy- everything, a hot désiré of particles, atoms, nuclides... hence, I feel that discipline is the reason I made it that far in life. Sometimes I can relate to a character in my favourite book series: a magician who went crazy because if his overwhelming power and then was rescued from his insanity and forced to find a different version if himself, that other version was enjoyingly obedient to law and order...his so-called 'perfection' was the other side of his insanity.

So this all is about ne being impatient and wanting to have a future something with a guy I met once a week ago...yes.